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Readers Respond: Sex and Menopausal Vaginal Dryness

Responses: 29

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Updated June 24, 2009

Freedom

I listen to my body when I reached menopause. Once I lost my desire and sex was uncomfortable, I said "out of order,no more sex". I was told by a doctors years later my cervix was like tissue paper and bled easily. I should take hormones, use lubricants and masterbate. No thanks. When its over, its over. Don't miss it at all.
—liztalk

Vaginal dryness

I have had a problem of failure to lubricate during sex for a long time and it has worsened over time. I'm 26 and have been married for 3.5 years with only one child. My husband has been so patient but now he tired of trying to penetrate a vagina that is always dry. I love him so much and can't afford losing him. We take long to even have sex yet we stay together. I'm worried he will find comfort somewhere else. I feel so useless to him. I once suggested using a commercially available lubricant but he told he won't rely on such that he wants it natural. What do I .
—Guest nyaju

dry, irritated vagina

My vagina was always sensitive, with yeast infections and burning from the acid in blood flow. In my forties I had knee surgeries, pool therapy in chloridated wated caused vaginal dermatitis. I was so red and burned for 8 months. I lost a lot of leg muscle and developed arthritis which interferes with sex. Now menopausal with LCIS in breasts, I can't have any HRT to alieve pain and dryness. I've heard of natural hormones and products but don't want to experiment without professional recommendation, especially with my sensitivity and health issues. But I really need something, just to get through, day to day life and to get back to having sex again. I wear skirts most of the time to avoid discomfort of pants. This can't be rocket sciene. - there must be alternative products that don't pose health risks. to women our age.
—Guest Lynn

Help is Available

There is an estrogen pill you insert vaginally that helps with lubrication. However, it won't cure all the problems. See a pelvic floor specialist.
—anniegourieux

vicious cycle

So...the relationship's not going well, and we don't see each other much (long distance). So when we do see each other, one of the first things he wants to do is have sex. After about four months of this, my vagina went on strike--without consulting me, I might add. It's painful to even touch myself. So every time I see him now, I worry about being able to have sex, which of course makes things even worse, and every time I can't, that just piles on more pressure for the next time. He's actually very sweet and attentive and is clearly trying to be understanding and patient, but I can tell he's getting frustrated. I used to love sex, and I used to love having sex with him. I find him attractive--that hasn't changed--but we live very busy, high-stress lives, and apparently that's taken its toll. I'm in my early 30s, so I really doubt it's menopause. Funny how your body won't let you pretend everything's just fine even when your mind would like to.
—Guest worried

slight bleeding

I find i do have dryness in the last 1 year. why is it that i don't enjoy sex as much and when i do have i find slight blood after we finish. Is there anything to help with it all.
—cmlaughon

sore vagina after bein touched

when my partner fingers me it becomes very sore and hot to the touch that bad that it stings meto use the toilet the following day,which causes issues because by the time we get to havin sex im already red roar so to speak please could you help
—Guest dione

vaginal soreness

i havent had sex for almost two years because of vaginal soreness. had kots of pessaries and tabs to insert. just feel like my sex life is over and docs cant seem to help and arent interested they just tell me to use k y jelly. doesnt really help. thought i was the only 1 till i read the other peoples comments. feel sorry for you other ladies with ths horrific problem. i cant see any end to it myself. good luck to you all.
—Guest carole

vaginal soreness

I too had experienced a lot of sore while entering into my vagina.sometimes I feel iam in heaven.but sometimes iam jaded of it.Iam 46 now,so i think i dont need sex anymore..
—Guest rachel

Vaginal Soreness and Dryness

Since my hysterectomy in 2001 I have experienced soreness and dryness. I am 49 now and still get very sore. I soak in ebsin salts and it helps some. But also after a weekend I just had WOW, I should expect some sort of soreness. I used a whole tube of lube, lol, but still sore. But I also feel part is from not having sex for 3 yrs. So going to take time this time, lol and use lube each time. I know I will still be sore, but I will get used to it eventually. The sex is just way too good to say no to.
—pboyer60

Sex and Vaginal Dryness

I'm 44 years old and sex with my partner was fabulous until a few months ago. When he enters me, it feels like he is cutting or tearing the opening of my vagina which makes me feel so sore. I try to get out of sex on a regular basis, whereas I used to enjoy it. Creams do not work. The constant pain on penetration has put me off sex and is causing stress and arguments in my relationship.
—Guest elizabeth

Vaginal Soreness

It comes with age, sorry. I too cannot have sex due to the soreness. We have not had penetration for 18 months, and to be quite honest I could do without it. I am 50 and used to love sex, but as we get older, we get wiser and tired and it doesn't really interest me anymore. Don't think you a failure, just think you are a great experienced woman.
—Guest carol

Vaginal dryness

I'm only 21, and in a loving relationship. But I find it hard to lubricate naturally when I'm having sex, we've tried lube a lot but it still feels very friction like when he tries to enter...it also feels like he's hitting a wall when only entering maybe 2 inches and can't go any further, it's really starting to get me down and I need some advice on how I can fix the problem.
—zabethery

Vaginal Soreness

Since starting the menopause I have suffered with a very sore vagina, Doctors don't seem to be of any help, Have tried lubricants, had swabs, all clear,sex is too painful, so causes stress in relationship, Don't know where to turn next. I'm only 50 and I don't want to not be able to have sex for the rest of my life, Lt is so depressing and makes me feel like a failure, I often say to my partner he would be better off with another woman. I don't know anyone else who is like me.
—Guest jan

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