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Readers Respond: Sex and Menopausal Vaginal Dryness

Responses: 29

By

Updated June 24, 2009

If you’ve experienced vaginal dryness during menopause, how has it affected your sex life? Do you have sex less frequently? Do you have more frequent sex? Or do you not have it all at because it's too painful? Share the impact of vaginal dryness on your sex life here.

Pain never stopped this time

My husband & I were on an anniversary getaway, so we were all set for some fun together. At 39 I had a hysterectomy & experience some vaginal changes. Some dryness, some pain at onset of penetration, but with some patience it usually subsided & we could both have a good time. Last night we were both excited to get the chance to be alone without kids & other distractions, then it happened..he tried & tried but I never moistened up & it was intensely painful from beginning to end. I couldn't wait for it to be over. I expected to be bleeding when I went to wash up it hurt that much. I was a nympho when I was younger so I never saw this coming. Sometimes being a women sucks. I recently had a med increase on Cymbalta & Lamictal. Checked for side affects & vaginal dryness is not listed, although many other depression meds list it as a side effect. These meds are to help with Fibromyalgia. I don't think the trade of is worth. Sure you feel better physically but u have to give up ur sex life!
—Guest OuchDonna

Pain never stopped this time

My husband & I were on an anniversary getaway, so we were all set for some fun together. At 39 I had a hysterectomy & experience some vaginal changes. Some dryness, some pain at onset of penetration, but with some patience it usually subsided & we could both have a good time. Last night we were both excited to get the chance to be alone without kids & other distractions, then it happened..he tried & tried but I never moistened up & it was intensely painful from beginning to end. I couldn't wait for it to be over. I expected to be bleeding when I went to wash up it hurt that much. I was a nympho when I was younger so I never saw this coming. Sometimes being a women sucks. I recently had a med increase on Cymbalta & Lamictal. Checked for side affects & vaginal dryness is not listed, although many other depression meds list it as a side effect. These meds are to help with Fibromyalgia. I don't think the trade of is worth. Sure you feel better physically but u have to give up ur sex life!
—Guest OuchDonna

Same boat

I am ready these and Thinking wow it isn't just me and it's not in my head. I have had 14 surgeries for endometriosis and had the best sex life ever before they removed my last ovary. Now I couldn't care less about sex and feel awful for my husband he is ao patient and understanding but i miss what we once had. The pain is dreadful and my skin tears and then I'm in pain for days later not to mention the fact I have lichenschlerosis if someone can suggest something for the dryness please let me know I'll try anything that I haven't already tried to get my life back
—Guest Kate

help

Im 21, and ever sinc3 i first started to have sex it has hurt. It was only about a year or 2 ago that I even found out that vaginal dryness was a problem among other women. Sex hurts so bad with my fiance, and now I know its because I have vaginal dryness. Should I go see a doctor or try lube first?
—Guest blah!

its painful

very painful when masterbate i want some suggestion to know how to do a proper mastebate so that i can have good sex life after my adulthood
—Guest raja

talking to a doctor

I'm still married but we don't like each other and we are not physically attracted to each other anymore. When I'm asked by a physician about my "sex life" and I tell them I haven't had relations for many years, they look at me like I'm evil or sick and probably lying. I turn down wellness checks in that I'm menopausal and not sexually active and haven't been for many years. The good news is so far the physicians agree I don't need a checkup if I don't have any concerns like treating my vaginal dryness.
—liztalk

Vaginal Dryness and painful intercourse

I am married for almost 21 yrs and 5 months ago I had surgery and did not have intercourse for 5 months when my husband and I try to have intercourse it was so painful that I had to ask him to stop and not allow him inside me. Please help me to overcome this problem. Thanks
—Guest Jay

to the dryness

you can buy a adult or internet call emotion lotion fun for both rubbing warm blowing get hot don't take much it works great . it better then K&Y. it's great on back rubs it all new meaning to love making for both . we use it for 2 months and hardly use much of it great. to me was first time in adult store but it was worth it in end they have all kind smells try it see if it help. you but on internet too.50 and having fun again it great for him to have lots fun fun ( by the way I was in your shoes to.)
—Guest nitalynn

vaginal dryness

so you all have said you have vaginal dryness, off sex, there is lub, a tablet but non of you seem happy? what else do you suggest - 45, no kids and very little interest in sex, stimulation
—Guest help

Over 40 and it Hurts!

I've been with my husband for ten years. I met him when I was 37, and probably at the peak of my sexual life. I'm now 47 and it feels like so much has changed inside of my body. It feels older and my vagina does definitely suffer when I'm not ready to have sex or be touched, then it hurts even more. I am so in love with my husband, and would do anything for or with him, but sometimes I am just not that interested anymore, and I think the darn vaginal dryness is the reason. Whydo women have to go through a thing called Menopause, or peri-Menopause??
—SuzyScorp

Thought I was the only one!

I am 30, married to a very patient man but becoming increasingly frustrated and unhappy!! I would love to just be able to make love when ever we wanted but my husband has no hope of penetration without lub!! I am so sick and tired of things not working down there like they should! Even the lub only works for a certian period of time. we don't have any children yet and I really can't see any coming anytime soon the way I'm going!! I feel like a real failure. It is really getting me down, such an important part of our relationship is being ruined by ME and dryness!! HELP!
—Guest Sue

menopause & Hormone replacement

I feel bad for all you girls that have vagina dryness. why not a hormone. I take 1 a day sense my hysterectomy. Dr. said to take for 3 yrs. So no hot flashes. Sex is great, lubricants are fine to use too. Don't have the soreness or dryness.
—Guest Cathy

Vaginal Soreness

I use to be able to have sex with very large men when I was in my 20's and 30's with no problems. I'm 42 yrs old and about 1 yr ago my vagina started to get sore after having sex with my boyfriend. My boyfriend's penis is a good size but not as large as I'm use to being with. I never got sore with the larger men, but I get sore with him. When I met my boyfriend I had not had sex for 4 yrs, then when I started having sex again, I had no issues. But I'm having them now. My vagina does get wet before I start having sex, but I have to add lubricant while I'm having sex to stay wet. My vagina has always been tight since I was a teenage, but I have noticed my vaginia constantly gets tight while having sex. I don't have a problem with penetration, I'm sore after we finish. I have started using silicone lubricant which I found works better then the water based lubricant. Is there anything else I could use that would also work to help stop the soreness.
—aedwards42

vaginal dryness && soreness

I can't begin to tell you. When I have sex, I can't stay wet for long. When it's about 10 minutes into sex, I just stop giving my own personal lube. It gets rough and really starts to hurt. Can't really take it after 10 minutes. Then after my boyfriend fingers me, I'm just sore and don't want to be touched. It hurts a lot. I mean I love my boyfriend but he seems to get upset because I can't keep myself wet for long and I'm always hurting after the simplest thing. I need help before I lose my first only.
—niecebby

vaginal soreness

I have the same problem that you all women!!Pain and pain. sometimes, the lubricant works but most of the time it does not. I am planning to buya seringe and inject inside my vagina the lubrican maybe 20 minutes before intercourse. K-y maybe better. I can not stay out of sex. I am 56 and my husband is 8 years younger. He seems to understand but i feel like useless. I am thinking to change my doctor for an olde female doctor maybe she can help better. Hormones is the answer for most of our problems too bad I can take hormones because of Hx of breast cysts.
—Guest maria

Tracee Cornforth
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