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Readers Respond: Tips For Rape Recovery, Healing, and Survival After Rape

Responses: 61

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Updated April 20, 2009

From the article: Rape: Healing and Survival
If you're a rape survivor, what helped your recovery and healing? Do you have a friend or family member who's been raped? How have you been able to help him or her heal and recover from rape?

barely talking to reletives

Its Christmas i feel like i should be talking to reletives but reletives are reallydrunk really brazen and dont respect me at all.I am stable but would have liked reletives to support me instead they have me mixed up with someone else i dont stalk unless its sandra
—Guest michelledauphinee

rape

I no longer go to siloam mission due to the fact I am not welcome. I will be going for short term counselling to heal from the effects of raped.
—Guest michelledauphinee

rape

I no longer go to siloam mission due to the fact I am not welcome. I will be going for short term counselling to heal from the effects of raped.
—Guest michelledauphinee

Still suffering

I was raped when I was 21. Now that am 40 still suffering from the after effect of a rape victim. The event affected all aspect of my life from self respect, low self esteem, made the wrong choices of friends and relationships. I created myself a wall and kept myself isolated for a long time. I am tired of suffering and need to get my life back. What happened to me is not my fault...................I will not let this man control my life anymore..
—Guest Guest

remembered after 5 years

Its been 5 yrs and I hate going out and getting on with my life I face this monster that raped me every day standing at my car at work I don't know what to do I'm so lost
—Guest dayna

Rape is nothing

I am talking to rape survivors only.Be sure that you are not guilty because a raper is who is a psyco patient that need to be stay at hospital for treatment. you did not do anythings wrong and should not blame yourself.Forget all miserable time and be happy in your life. Happiness is an absolute right for any of us as a human being.
—Guest Majid

They didn't listen to me.

Sinse the third grade I was being raped by someone who was like a brother to me. At first I thought it was just a mistake but it started progressing. i started to get scared and confused so I tried telling his father. His father accused me of liking me and called me a lier, so I tried telling my family and no one would listen to me. He would rape me every night and when i tried fighting back he would cover my mouth, beat me, and threaten me. He has raped me for 5 years almost every night and I finally had enough and ran away to my friends and told her. I am deathly afraid cause he threatened me he will come back for me. How can I recover?
—CheyanneL.

2 months gone

I can relate to lifelivelove. It happened the same day, may 16th. My whole life has been turned upside down, but its getting better, slowly. It happened on a first date. The worst part was not knowing if I was going to live or die, since he changed so much when he got me in private. I am ok, I reported it, got the hospital treatment, but justice has eluded me. I don't believe it will elude him, however. I have good days and bad days, one of the worst coupled with this was the day I learned my so-called best friend told my story at a party and judged me. A mutual friend told me, b/c he was concerned that she spoke so derogatorily about another friend. I had ptsd on the spot, in the middle of a crowded cafe'. I told him that it was ME she was talking about. There is so much anger. But a survivor friend told me that I must go on: do it for the ones that didn't survive. And I have a better support system now. A good therapist, healthier, time-tested friends. My strength will not be taken.
—outofthewoods

Rape

I would like to have rape acknowledged and not to have the rapist female feel shes free to walk right up in Church and actually speak to me
—Guest Michelle Dauphinee

Getting back to the person you were...

It has been 7 months since my rape. One night, I was out with my friends but left them to call for a ride home (they were too drunk for me to be around)- then everything goes black...I woke up in my bed with no underwear or bra, bruises, and was wiping blood for weeks. I had been drugged, taken to a room, raped by multiple strangers, and left out on the streets to die (in the middle of winter). Luckily, someone who recognized me found me and brought me home. Since that morning, I have been through many stages- I really have done all I can to move forward with my life and stay on track with my strict life plan. From anyone on the outside looking in, they say I am unbelievably strong and handling it so well. What really affects me, however, (and what they dont see) is the loss of who I was. I used to be able to make a conversation with total strangers, turn every situation into an optimistic one, and make people laugh with my quirkiness. That part of me is gone and I miss it...
—Guest Fighting

healing advice

want to know about councellng tips what to tell a raped victim
—Guest sandile shongwe

For all of you whom write comments

My girlfriend has recently told me about her childhood rape and, after several months of reading up on the subject, I found this page. This has to be one of the most enduring efforts I've found so far. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly! Your voices break the barriers of time and space for a reality that, regretfully, is much too common nowadays. Your stories, however short they may be, are a true testament to how very resilient we human beings are. We are each-others angles, each-others catchers in the rye.
—Guest Jacob

My bestfriend was raped last night!

Its 6:02 am, May 16, 2011.. my bestfriend of 15 yrs is like a sister i never had she went out with an ex-coworker and i was suppose to go but didn't. She called me while having a panic attack at 5 am not knowing where she was at or who house she woke up with her tampon gone and panties beside her. She called the police and and was scared to call family.. went to the hospital to find her tampon was inside of her and confirmed she was rape and had been slip the date rape drug..jus a day from the attack she has taken several long baths not eating,talking, breaking down cryin to herself "why me!" Don't want her baby daddy to touch her and says she dosent wanna live anymore.
—Guest livelifelove

MY members believes my RAPIST!!

The man who raped me is the father of my aunt's children, and get this, he got her pregnant when she was only 14-years old and he was 21-years old. then again when she was 16,and my grandmother didn't do anything about it.we visit my folks last week for mother's day and he showed up to my GRANDMOTHER'S!he been recently keep coming around me ever since he was released for some reason.my mother told my grandmother so MY GRANDMOTHER went out there, but she only made conversation with him. when she return to the house she told my mother that she didn't mind he was there. HOW STUPID MY FOLKS ARE FOR BEING SO INCONSIDERATE AND DUMB. I DON'T CARE IF THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME, BUT THEY CONSTANTLY SPEAK ABOUT HIM AROUND ME.WHY?HAVEN'T I SUFFERED ENOUGH ALREADY. i was only 5 or 6 when he first raped me and this had happened when my aunt left to go to the market-which she denies that she never left us alone with him and her children said also that she has, and he was suppose to watch me and my cousin
—Guest ellie o4

raped twice by the same guy

My gf was raped by a guy. Over 4 could be 5 months at the time it happened I was furious n wanted the guy dead but she refues to let me get her help.... so I forced it all down n put a smile for her sake... now she's pregnate n I thought she had cheated on me but she told me the same guy found out were she lived n while she was at work broke in and waited for her and at night as she was coming home raped her :'( I feel sp useless knowing it happened n I could not help.... I'm determined to take her to the cops for justice but I'm afraid they won't do anything for her at this point because lack of evidence the only thing I can think of is an unborn child who could belong to that basterd
—Guest jp

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