From the article: Rape: Healing and Survival
If you're a rape survivor, what helped your recovery and healing? Do you have a friend or family member who's been raped? How have you been able to help him or her heal and recover from rape? Rape Survivors Respond
i understand
- though i havnt been raped, i've been sexually molested for as far as i can remember as a kid, maybe i was 5. My mom always told me that if anything ever happened to me like that i can tell her, to never be afraid becuase it happened to her too so she'll understand and help me. But i was still afraid to say anything becuase i thought the whole world waz going to know. I always heard it on the news or read it in the newspaper, that i just didnt want anyone to know wat happend to me or i be the center of attention for something bad that happend to me...i had a doctors appointment when i was 10 once and the doctor just said u look like sumthings the matter with u, r u ok, whats wrong? She spoke so gently i just blurt it out, crying and my mom started crying and the doctor called child services and whoa waz it a whole mess after that but hey, i was a kid who had a bad secret finally let out. When i got out of the clinic i literally ran out and jumped around cuz i felt so-FREE. so tell 2 hea
- —Guest ivy
The Truth of Rape
- The thing that helped my recovery was talking to people and it's been what 3 years since I've been raped by my step brother since I was 4 years old. It still hurts now but not as much. All you have to do is tell, it's terrible in the beginning because you have to tell your story over and over again feeling self doubt, and wanting so bad for it to end and be done with. The thing is that it never goes away and that's basically our problem. We dream about it, think about it, and we live it but all you need is a friend that will be their for you know matter what you do, say, or think. You need someone to talk to you and not judge you. For the friends of rape survivors, all you need to do is stick by your friends and help them as best as you can, never leave their side, and be their for them when they need your help. See this is all coming from experience, right at this moment my friend is struggling with the effects of rape, and now it's my turn to help her live with what has happened.
- —Guest Shakeibo
My Great Gradpapa
- will hello i was rape my great gradpapa i mean he use to touch me and my aunt :(
- —Guest kassandra
The Couple of Things That Are Helping
- I know that I am still suffering deeply. I have tried to confide in several people, but there were none who really helped me. The thing that comforted me the most was having a gentle close male friend who cared for me very much, antidepressant medication, and giving up alcohol and drugs to numb myself. I do know the things that made it harder: -people gossiping about my attack (and even worse spreading inaccurate information) -people advising me that they knew best what I should be doing and faulting me for how I handled the aftermath -people closing themselves off to me after disclosure of my rape and/or failing to check in with me from time to time to see if I was OK because I wasn't and their distance made me feel as if I could not reach out to them again -people using it against me to explain every little problem in our relationship, as if they were behaving perfectly or considerately 100% of the time. -in general, just being misunderstood even by professional helpers.
- —Guest Paige
Went thru it for a reason
- Its been almost 2 yrs since I was raped. An it is an can be a very frightening experience. After it happened I felt like I had to carry the burden all on my own. One day I told a close friend what happened, an through tears told her that I wanted her to know that so if it should happen to her,she will know not to keep it a secret an so she can hopefully avoid being in the same situation.When I got done talking to her I realized I went through it so I can try and help people avoid going through it too.
- —Guest Arianna
Time Heals All Wounds
- Not only the physical scars, but the emotional scars disappear eventually. Group therapy at WOAR is great. Nobody was there for me so I went to a therapist after 4 years. I have to say the repercussions and how it affected my relationships with men were tremendous. I feel more comfortable working with women and children and the elderly, stay out of bars and away from drug and alcohol users (abusers) I practice a stronger morality based on what I learned in childhood in the Church. I may not be perfect but I am a survivor.
- —icegypsy58
Being A Good Listener
- My sister was raped in high school. I was younger, and couldn't really do anything but listen and be supportive, but she told me that that was enough. She needed support from more than just her little sister, but my support still helped. I think if someone you love is raped, just listening and supporting is very important.
- —Guest Elysse
healing after rape
- One-on-one counseling, group therapy, and self-help techniques such as journaling and meditation are what kept me going long enough to recover from the worst aftereffects of rape. Then I turned to helping other victims, and it's what I have continued to do for nearly 20 years. Survivors of sexual assault may find assistance from state and local organizations of their peers. In Virginia, survivors can visit www.survivorcaucusva.org for more information. No doubt other states offer similar opportunities for survivors. Self-love, patience for the healing process, and acknowledging oneself as a survivor, rather than a victim, can make a world of difference in the path of recovery. It's essential to hold the faith that life can be good again.
- —Guest barbarashine
Talk About Your Rape
- The most important thing to do after you've been raped, is not to keep it to yourself. By not talking about your rape, you isolate yourself, and the emotions following the rape could become overwhelming. There are so many women who have experienced raped, chances are that you have a friend or relative is one of them. Even if you don't report it, for whatever reason you have, do yourself the favor and tell someone. My rape happened as a freshman in high school and it took years before I was able to come out; I regret doing that to myself.
- —Guest Sarah
I Am Not A Victim
- I took it one day at a time and went to counseling where I was able to be open with how I felt. I still deal with my rape every day because I have a child who was born as a result. However, I have grown stronger and have learned to manage my post traumatic stress, I've learned to breath and live by knowing that it was not my fault. And I am still not over it. I will never get over being raped because there are still women and children being victimized. What helped me was to talk to other men and women like myself, By helping others with my survival story I've grown a lot as I person. I make it a point not to feel sorry for myself because I love to be happy. This is not a overnight process. It's been over ten years since I was raped, and I still have problems sleeping at times, I have just learned to deal with it but not to dwell on it. I make it my point to not be a victim. I am a survivor.
- —Guest Layla
